The following is a list of possible reasons that explain my absence from this blog. It’s like a Choose Your Own Adventure! Except way less stressful. I seriously blame those books for my brutal indecisiveness as an adult. What if I make the wrong decision? I don’t want to end up lost in the forest or eaten by ogres or in an epic battle with the King or OH MY GOD WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE. Then bed time. See? Not healthy, parents. Smarten up.
- I was Robert Downey Jr.’s date for the Oscars and have spent the past two weeks trying to find my pants.Yes, I wore pants to the Oscars.
- I decided to finally fulfill my dream of being a backup dancer for a traveling pop act.
- My night blindness suddenly became a useful affliction, as I was commissioned by the city to be a motivational speaker for other people who fall down in the dark.
- I forgot my password.
Sooo…..yeah. Which is funny, because I really only have a few passwords for everything. I should probably change that, now that I’ve realized it (and broadcasted it on a blog).
And yes, I’m well aware they have a fancy service that sends your password to you should you forget it. Admittedly, I have been using this memory slip as an excuse to cover up the painful fact that I had nothing funny to say.
In other news…
S.
pretty girls poop too 
I’ll end the suspense and tell everyone the truth. She was a backup dancer for a Menudo cover band. I like how she name dropped RDJ, but only said a “travelling pop act” for what she was actually doing. Honesty is always the best policy.
S, I know you better than that. You hate pants. Enough said.