How to Dress “Punk” and Alienate People

 

What in the actual fuck.

I spent an hour today (at least) watching every single one of these videos, emailing them to everyone I could think of and then discussing at length the following points (I had a really productive day):

0:00 – 0:18 – This bitch can’t even speak properly. We’re not even 20 seconds into this video and she stumbles at least three times. Why not start again? You’ve only gone 18 seconds into filming, it’s not like you stumbled at the 2-minute mark. Just calm down and take your time, Wendi. We’ll get through this.

0:21 – Punk, naturally, is “anything that normal people wouldn’t do” and this includes wearing bright colours. No really, you guys. NO BRIGHT COLOURS. Look how serious she is when she says that:

NO. BRIGHT. COLOURS.

0:24 – “You’re not going to do plaids, unless you take it a little edgy, take it to the edgy level.” THIS IS NOT EVEN A SENTENCE, WENDI. USE YOUR WORDS.

0:35 – “Most punks…they don’t wanna look like they have a lot of money.” Ah, naturally. Because that’s where the whole idea of “punk” came from – yuppies wanting to look like they don’t have a lot of money, not from a musical genre rooted in the ideologies of personal freedom and anarchism, responsible for spreading an anti-establishment movement that changed not only the music industry but the WORLD. How silly of us.

1:39-1:45 – I’m honestly not joking you guys, I’m pretty sure she had a small stroke right here. Even the model senses something isn’t right. She doesn’t even know what to do with her hands, she’s so concerned. HELP IS ON THE WAY, WENDI. Wendi with an “i” – so punkish. You rebel.

I’m also concerned about the model in general. I think she’s being held against her will. I think she’s been drugged. She has a vacant expression and blinks at an alarmingly slow speed.

I just don't even care, you guys.

I especially love how the whole thing wraps up with an important life lesson that we can all learn from punks. Just don’t even care. Wendi clearly doesn’t give a SHIT. She probably killed that animal around her neck with her bare, manicured hands right before the camera started rolling. My new motto in life is WWWD – What Would Wendi Do. We’ll start selling the bracelets soon. (They’ll be leather AND lace. So edgy.)

S.

 

6 comments

  1. Sweet mother of fucking God, that’s not even punk. And don’t do plaid? Clearly, her knowledge of the punk genre is deep.

    I found myself getting urges of physical violence as time passed ever so slowly through her video. It isn’t even her inability to speak coherently. It’s that smug tone.

    Want to play slap a bitch.

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