Indisputable Facts of Life – Part 2.

There is no hyperbole here, people. This is gospel. Part 1 is here. (Note that it was written in January of 2009 and yep – STILL INDISPUTABLE, BRO.)

Telling people in great detail about the “crazy” dream you had last night is a form of torture and you don’t want to be a torturer, do you? Unless I was in your dream doing something awesome, or you’re one of the two people closest to me on this planet, or your dream was fucking hilarious, I would rather hear about how gassy you were whilst giving an important presentation to the boss over the irrelevant and nonsensical actions of your subconscious.

It’s difficult to rock white sunglasses without looking like a total asshole. The problem is that the white plastic rim is such a direct contrast to the black lenses that it looks like your face is screaming I’M WEARING SUNGLASSES. Which, clearly, is not the point of sunglasses.

Googling this made me hate myself.

Being alone feels really awesome. You should do it more often.

Putting grated cheese on popcorn has made me a better human being.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is such a BABE. I’ve had a crush on him since 3rd Rock from the Sun (who didn’t) but as he gets older he continues to not only get hotter, but also more awesome. Well played, JGL.

I'm so sexy and good at stuff.

Real books are better than a Kindle. Forever and always.

Joffrey Baratheon is such a little piece of shit. I’m still so mad about that, you guys. Like…WTF was he trying to prove? Guess what Joffrey, you’re an incest baby. How does that feel, huh?! Who lets a frigging 12 year old be a king and make king decisions anyways? NED WAS AN HONEST AND NOBLE MAN.

Great. Now I’m too upset to even finish this blog post. I BID YOU ADIEU.



  1. You know what? I haven’t had cheese popcorn in way too long. FACT: Tonight I’m hanging out alone. FACT: I’ll be watching Big Brother. FACT: Cheese popcorn will be involved.

    Thanks for the reminder, S.!

  2. If you like grated cheese on your popcorn then try nuking a bit of Cheez Whiz and drizzling it on your popcorn. Trust – it’s heaven! LOL I went back and read (and remembered the first post) and laughed and loved. Where you guys continue to source your shit on the blog constantly surprises, impresses and astounds me. Good show (golf clap).

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