S. Goes To New York City

The title says it all, bitches – I’M KIND OF A BIG DEAL.

And when you’re a big deal, you go to big cities and drink a lot of big kid drinks and in your excitement you forget to pace yourself, then spend the first night you’re there throwing up a very expensive meal because THAT’S HOW YOU ROLL, you big deal you. Then you almost barf in a cafe in Midtown the next morning because big nights deserve big mornings.

Somehow I managed to pull my shit together for the rest of the weekend though and now present you with Lessons From Abroad Part 2 (you can find Part 1, the New Orleans edition here):

Lesson 1: No matter what you’ve packed – you have not packed what you need and all your clothes are dumb and stupid and lame and completely not NYC worthy they’re just these frumpy frocks and I mean really why do you even try? Maybe you are not such a big deal after all. Maybe you are just a medium deal from Canada.

Lesson 2: Drinking makes you confident!

Lesson 3: Manhattan consists of nothing but beautiful people and car horns. If you’re going, bring condoms and ear plugs. Thank me later.

Lesson 4: Joe’s Pizza. Greenwich Village. DON’T ASK QUESTIONS, JUST GO. GO AND PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH AND I’LL STOP ABUSING THE CAPS LOCK.

That’s all I got. I’m so exhausted I shouldn’t be unsupervised around electronics right now.

S.

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