WTF? Potential Stalker Edition

Sometimes, when I drink, I get really nice. And I start to think that everyone around me is also REALLY, REALLY NICE. This often leads me to talk to people for great lengths who I normally may not necessarily have talked to for that long. Or at all. Ever.

This is what happened to me a few weekends ago. Feeling a little sorry for myself, I went out with a girlfriend (and her boyfriend) to a club. The place wasn’t really my scene but I was determined to make the best of it, which you do by drinking enough Coronas to keep Mexico’s economy afloat for the next decade and dancing like you’re trying out for a music video. Naturally.

So I meet this guy and he’s just full of compliments so why wouldn’t I keep talking to him all night, right? Everyone likes to feel good and shit. We danced for a few songs and by “danced” I mean he awkwardly stood behind me and tried to mimic sexual behaviour with my back. He really wasn’t my type, physically or… anything-ly. By the end of the night he was asking for my number and thanks to my senses being dulled by cheap beer and the fact that I have seemingly forgotten how to be single and strategic — I gave it to him.

Realizing my mistake, I ignored each one of his three texts messages. He said he wanted to take me out – no reply. Then he said that he really hoped I would answer him because he really liked me – no reply. Then a third and final message a few days later about how I must have thought he was ugly or something (?!) and how he had really hoped he could get to know me.

All good. Done. Passive aggressively denied. Whatever.

Today, my girlfriend stumbles upon a Craigslist ad in the “Missed Connections” section from him, looking for me.

Because that’s normal.

In the ad (which I’m obviously not linking you assholes to), he mentions that we danced to a few songs and he got a really good vibe from me. Then he says: “Wanna see if fate exists? Tell me my name or something from the night to let me know it’s u.”

FATE? First of all… does fate use Craigslist? I’m not so sure about that. Second, I love the way he instructs me to tell him his name or something from the night to let him know it’s really me. I almost want to write back: You were wearing a weird leather jacket and had a bad haircut and I DON’T REMEMBER YOUR NAME BECAUSE I’M JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.

He also calls me a “not-so-bad-looking girl” in the ad. Is he trying to balance out the weirdness of posting a Craigslist ad about me by inferring that I’m only slightly above average in the looks department?

Either way – he’s persistent and I guess that’s a bit endearing? I’m definitely flattered but also worried. If I don’t post again after this by May, please call the police. And Craig, who needs to know that he is responsible for this.

S.

8 comments

  1. At least they’re honest. I had a guy meet me and tell me I was beautiful blah blah blah… and when I ran into him again a week and a half later (with NO contact what-so-ever in between), he told me he loved me AND if that’s not creepy enough… he had written me a song titled (wait for it…) “New Addiction.”

    true.story.
    Also, I almost peed myself when I saw you had commented on my blog!!!! And, you actually ARE a poet!!!

  2. Oh my! I am so glad I am not trying to navigate the dating scene. Whew! This digital age of dating is…CREEPY! I mean…what the hell happened to meeting someone, dancing, getting a couple of free drinks and then you never have to see them again? OH yeah, TEXTING AND THE INTERNET! Yikes!

    1. Funny thing is that this guy DIDN’T EVEN BUY ME A DRINK!! I bought them my damn self. Mostly so that I wouldn’t feel like I owed him anything. Like my soul. And ovaries.

  3. Oh boy. I actually wrote about the “missed connections” section of Craigslist today, weird. I check it constantly to see if crazy ladies are stalking my man. Because it seems to happen often.

    “Not so bad looking” huh? Wow. What a player that guy is.

  4. See, the most troubling part for me was that he used “u” instead of you in the ad.

    Of course I’ve refused to reply to texts in the past when girls used “LOL.”

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