The NFL Probowl is fucking stupid, first of all. Then they make it even worse with the most painfully awkward interview EVER with Peyton Manning and Drew Brees. So I texted my friend, Lloyd.
S: Why does Brees’ hair always look so sweaty and wet?
Lloyd: He must be half Italian.
S: Wow. I’m putting that on the blog.
Lloyd: I…made your blog? I’m bigtime now. The bee’s knees.
S: Yeah, making “Pretty Girls Poop Too” is a real achievement. That sounds bad.
Lloyd: Stay out of my happy time. Oh, you meant those social meanderings you type. You’re like our generation’s Andy Rooney.
S: Andy Rooney and I were born on the same day, by the way. Except, 66 years apart.
Lloyd: You know what I hate? Pop cans. You can never open them. And when you do, it’s never as good as you hoped. And another thing…
S: I’m typing up this entire conversation right now.
Lloyd: I hate you. And your mentor Andy Rooney.
I’m half Italian, by the way.