(Getting ready at S.’s place for a big Friday night…)
S: Mario Kart or Wii Sports? Mario Kart is significantly less physical, but if we play Wii Sports it basically counts as going to the gym. Tennis hurts my arm though, so maybe we should just do bowling. I’ve actually managed to perfect my throw while remaining on the couch.
K: Stop. I will give you $100 dollars for some form of popcorn, pretzel, cracker, bread – do you see my theme here?
S: Done. Popcorn it is.
K: You know, I grate cheese on my popcorn.
S: What?! Like real cheese?
K: Real cheese.
S: That’s…I mean…I think I just had an epiphany.
K: Real. Cheese.
S: Okay, but wait. You just grate it on top of the popcorn? What size grate do you use?
K: The regular one.
S: Oh, so not the zest-like one. You really grate that shit on, nacho-style?
K: Medium grate. The zest size would work too, but it’s a little light so you’d have to grate more, which obviously would require more physical effort.
S: Which defeats the point.
S.’s brother, who has been in the room the entire time: Why is this even a topic of conversation? The size of the grate? Really? How has any man ever loved either one of you?
K: *puts handful of popcorn in mouth*
(Seriously though. Grated cheese on popcorn. Try it.)