1.) If you don’t want to spend your life being a soulless corporate drone who hates every minute of life before 5PM – don’t. Contrary to what you’ve been told, thousands (nay, MILLIONS) of people spend their lives loving what they do. I mean really loving it, not loving the fact that they get “flex” days and dental coverage.
2.) No matter how good of an idea it may seem at the time – don’t cook bacon without pants on. Trust me.
3.) Watching old people play video games is funny.
5.) Vegas is really fun for about the first 20 hours.
6.) Even those who appear to have their shit together have moments of severe, unnecessary insecurity. Don’t focus on your weaknesses – address them.
7.) Drunk texting can either be a hilarious incident for you and your friends to look back upon with delight, or the catalyst for the most awkward and truly embarrassing morning-after conversation (and apology) EVER. Choose your path wisely, friends.
8.) You cannot be everything to everyone. Find your niche in life and own that bitch. If you piss some people off along the way – you’re probably doing it right. You will never please everyone, so only focus on pleasing the people who matter to you and your goals.
9.) Don’t take advice from someone who runs a blog about Poop.
10.) Keep reading, though. And we know for a fucking FACT that many of you who read this blog are actually way funnier than us – so start commenting, too.