Unconvential Things I Hate About Winter

Right now it’s -24 degrees. There’s a lot to hate about that. The pandemonium that it causes on the roads, the way it makes my face hurt when I’m only outside for 2 minutes letting my dog pee, the disgusting sinus colds it infects the general population with….etc. Pretty typical stuff. But there’s a few other things that I desperately hate about winter:

  • I hate the fact that you can see people’s breath. Especially when I’m walking behind them and have no choice but to walk right through it. As far as I’m concerned, we could have just made out. I just inhaled your essence. I could see it! And yes, I’m fully aware that even when you can’t see people’s breath you’re still walking through it.
  • There is no winter jacket that can keep you warm in -30 and still make you look cute. The only way to truly stay warm is to dress like you’re an obese homeless man.
  • It’s dark by 4:30pm. That’s a pretty typical thing to hate about winter but I hate it because it gives me about 5 extra hours to trip over things.
  • Chucks are not Arctic-appropriate footwear.
  • Why won’t winter just let my skin be great?

But seriously. Fuck winter.

The good news is that it’s supposed to be +3 degrees here on Wednesday, so be prepared to see me dancing down the street like this.

It's Emmitt, Bitches!



  1. It is with sadness that I report the cold weather murdered my chucks this weekend. RIP, Chuck Taylors (2005-2009). You will be missed … and quickly replaced.

    1. Even today, as the abundance of snow melts in the beautiful sun, my Chucks were a HORRIBLE choice of footwear. My socks are soaking.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s