If You Had To [D-List Fatties Edition]

They say that women begin to let themselves go once married, but in Hollywood there’s an even more disturbing trend appearing. The men get fat once they break up with someone. Case in point, today’s edition of If You Had To.

Fat Jon Gosselin



Fat Kevin Federline


Pro about each: Any of your wild womanly cravings would not only be accepted, they would be encouraged. I think both of these men would even sit through a chick flick if it meant a tub of cookie dough was involved.

Con about each: Both come with crazy baby mammas and multiple children.

Jon has recently been spotted in nothing but Ed Hardy, thus perfecting the “Awkward Dad trying to look cool while dating your college classmates” look. Minus 18 points.

Kevin gets something ridiculous like $40,000 a month from Britney and no real responsibilities outside of just being a dad, which means he probably has a Willy Wonka-like house where everything is edible. You’d probably end up spending the day riding go-karts and the night having sex on a cheeseburger-bed. Bonus 10 points.

Kevin takes the cake (hah) with this one. Ladies?



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