If You Had To [Fellas edition]

Time for another round of If You Had To! If you missed out on the first installment (which was for the ladies), the game goes as follows: we present a horrifying situation in which you must have sex with one of the choices presented and clarify the reasoning for your choice. Remember, a good rationale trumps all. We won’t think any less of you. Unless you choose the one that’s obviously wrong and disgusting, you sick fuck.

Fellas…if you HAD to….

Amy Winehouse and her uncanny ability to make your penis grow legs and run…

wino

OR

Jocelyn Wildenstein, a.k.a the Cat Lady, a.k.a OH MY DEAR GOD, WHAT IS THAT? IS THAT EVEN HUMAN?? PERHAPS SOME FORM OF MAMMAL? DON’T LOOK IT DIRECTLY IN THE EYES!!

My pick: What ever that thing is up there ^. Amy Winehouse is a crack head and crack heads are just TOO unpredictable. First you’re making out (pressing your lips against what’s left of her teeth) on the couch (cardboard box) and the next thing you know she’s pulling out baby mice, a used tampon and your grade 5 report card from the massive amounts of hair piled on her head. The Cat Lady strikes me as someone with very, very low self esteem which means you could probably control the entire situation and even get away with never calling her again. Plus her body has to be better than Skeletor up there.

S.

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