This has been a work-in-progress, developed over the past month or so of NFL glory. I apologize to all your girlfriends in advance, as I know for a fact that most of you reading this do not need a reason to drink more on the weekends and Monday nights. Regardless, sit back with at least 6 ice-cold beers (or ice-cold watery brown substance that slightly resembles beer if you’re American) and get ready to play.
Take one drink when:
- You see a close up of Brett Farve’s face.
- Brett Farve is mentioned when the Jets defense is out on the field.
- A commentator mentions the new facemask rule that was put into effect this season that we obviously need to be reminded of at least once every game because football has very few repeat viewers.
Take two drinks when:
- You hear Brett Farve mentioned during a Green Bay Packers game.
- A commentator describes why there is a green sticker on the back of certain players’ helmets, a rule that was put into effect last season but again — very few repeat viewers.
- You see a replay of Tom Brady’s knee injury (three drinks if this is past Week 5).
Take three drinks when:
- You see Jessica Simpson.
- You see Kim Kardashian and she looks directly into the camera instead of at the field.
- You see the Brett Farve Wrangler jeans commercial.
Finish your damn drink when:
- You see Deanna Farve.