If You Had To [Ladies edition]

Ladies…life often throws us introspective, life-defining questions that force us to look deep within our souls for guidance and answers. Heels or flats? Grey’s Anatomy or Survivor? And my own personal struggle, salad or fries?

I come to you with another one of these mind bending experiences in the form of a game my best friend and I use to combat boredom and judge people we don’t know based on physical appearances – If You Had To. The rules are simple, you must answer truthfully out of the options given, whether it is between two people or a group, who you would sleep with if you had to. There is no “pass” in this game, no “I would slit my wrists instead,” etc. You absolutely must answer one way or the other. You’ll find this game works wonders in college food courts, at sporting events, in the club, or basically in any social situation where you’ve simply got nothing better to do.

My fellow bleeders…if you HAD to…

Rick Rawwws and his tig ole bitties:

mm pancakes

mm pancakes


T-Pain and his visible stench:

blame the south

blame the south

My choice? Ricky Ross. I know, I know…you’re horrified. But let me explain. Whereas I’m convinced you can actually see T-Pain’s breath coming outta his mouth (especially with that piss-colour grill) and I’m willing to bet his hair smells like stale Cheetos, Rick Ross would probably fall asleep a few minutes into our simulation of a sex act (i.e., rolling around on the bed trying to find all the necessary parts) so then I could just leave. Plus, if we went out I could stash my lip gloss in his beard and a credit card or two under those moobies*. How is he not a girl’s dream come true?! Exactly.

Elana: Duh, T-Pain. Cuz at least he would buy shawty a drink.

Kelsey: Big fat dude. And I quote a good friend; “I’ve got a good 80 pounds before he thinks I’m overweight!” He would make me a sandwich after. I like that.

Btw, the “good friend” she’s referring to may or may not have been me referring to my boyfriend. I’m just sayin..


(*man boobs)

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